Guatape, How I Love Thee

Bumming around hostels in Medellin looking for the cheapest place to stay, the three of us found ourselve in Calle 10 Hostel our first night. Calle 10 is a local hostel so it seems. With only spanish speaking travelers, mostly Argentinians, spanish speaking volunteers and workers and a fairly relaxed attitude about everything, we spent our first night in the cheapest hostel we had found yet. 16.000 pesos or $8 a night. This blog is not about Calle 10 or Medellin. It is about Guatape.

A poster on the wall of Calle 10 hostel shows a rock protruding from nowhere with no other massive monoliths around. Surrounding the rock is a lake as blue as the sky. The poster was an advertisement for Lake View Hostel in Guatape, Colombia, a 1.5 hour bus trip from Medellin. The poster listed opportunities to kayak, bike, fish, hike to waterfalls, booze-cruise on a boat around the massive lake. All things that would sound enticing to three nomadic voyageurs on a quest to get out of the metropolis, out of the fast food, the "look we have McDonalds too" cities of Bogota and Medellin. But the last line on the poster read "Volunteer and stay for free!" DONE.

I sent a quick email to the owner, Greg, an American from Santa Barbara, California, about the three of us interested in volunteering for one to two weeks. We got a quick reply telling us the previous volunteer had just left and they could use two of us. He said most volunteers come for a week and stay a month. We would soon believe. So we planned on all volunteering and then just splitting the cost of one person 20.000 pesos or $10 a night three ways. $3.34 a night is not a bad deal for this town. The main streets are painted bright colors with beautiful "zocales" depicting everything from orchids to la Piedra to men with dump trucks mixing concrete. These zocales, designed along the base of the walls, uplift your mood even when you are already on cloud nine at the majestic beauty of the surround environment. The people are as nice and friendly as anyone I have ever met. "La Piedra" (The Rock) sits as a magnificent backdrop resembling a meteor that crashed into the Andes and has remained ever since. The hostel, true to its name, sits fifty yards from the lake shore overlooking a finger of the body of water to the west with the rock always looming.

Our first two nights in the hostel we relaxed with Greg and Nick the co-owners. Nick, from London, has been living in Colombia for two years. He and Greg met in a bar one night, talked about how wonderful this country is, how beautiful the women are, and how because of years of violence and drug cartels tourism is only on the incline with the current stability. So they decided drunkenly to create a hostel. And this is where they´ve been since. Our third day we learned the ropes of the difficult volunteering schedule, not. One of us needs to get up around 8:30 in the morning, open up the hostel, mop the floors, throw some clean laundry out on the line, and make breakfast for the other two sleeping beauties. That wasn´t required but that became our system. If a traveler shows up, we give them a key, show them to the dorm or private room, explain the odds and ends of the hostel (free instant coffee, free tea, wifi code, activities book, yada yada yada). When someone checks-out, change the sheets, clean the bathrooms, mop the floors. All in all, each day I´d say we work about 2 hours tops. During the day, either Greg or Nick is around, so we have the ability to climb the rock, kayak, take a day trip down to the tropical Rio Biscotcho or Las Tangas. Everything about this town is remarkable. Every other phrase out of all of our mouths is "I could live here." Our one week quickly turned into three before we finally decided to head out on a full day´s travel to Salento, coffee capital of Colombia, where I sit now trying to catch up on this blog. One of these days I will really sit and collect my thoughts and bring everyone up to even on what´s going on. As I´m finishing writing I can hear the downpour of rain outside (Welcome to the rainy season). This should be a moist 30 minute walk back to our eco-hostel. Where´s my raincoat?

Bienvenida a Colombia!

Now that the Spirit Airlines fiasco is behind us (still hoping on a refund or voucher though my gut says they won´t), we can fully take in the Colombia we set out to see. Our first two nights we spent at the apartment of Juan in northern Bogota. We found Juan on Couchsurfing.org a website devoted to finding like-minded travelers who will host other travelers in their homes for free instead of them paying for hostels and hotels. Juan was a very gracious host, telling us how to get around Bogota and helping us make sure our bags were delivered to his apartment on Wednesday evening. Juan´s family owns a construction company in Colombia focused on apartment complexes. What´s amazing about their company is that they put 15% of their profits to a foundation his grandfather started which provides almost free housing to university students who come from the poor provinces of Colombia. Without the help of the foundation these students who have overcome the odds of making it to the university grade-wise wouldn´t be able to afford living in Bogota. We spent much of our time waiting for our bags chatting with and getting to know another couchsurfer staying at Juan´s named Alice, from Malaysia, who quit her job as a computer engineer to travel the world West-East. Japan, Mexico, Guatamala, El Salvador, Cuba, Colombia, Ecuador, Peru, South Africa, India, and southeast Asia back home. She was truly an inspiration, someone who has a dream and instead of saying maybe when I retire is doing it, here and now.

Once we got our bags we heading out of Juan´s gracious and thankful and made our way into the heart of historic Bogota. We found a fairly cheap hostel called Musicology Hostel where we used as a home base for a day to see some of historic Bogota. The Museo de Oro (Gold Museum), the Museo de Botero (Fernando Botero) and some historic landmarks all situated within walking distance of the hostel. We heard from a friend that there was a free music festival this weekend in Medellin, a 10 hour bus ride north of Bogota, and decided to check it out. After our first night in Musicology we packed up and took an overnight bus for $30 (much more expensive than we had anticipated) to Medellin. To be fair, the bus was VERY nice with reclining seats that nearly become beds. I was blessed to have a teenager in front of me who didn´t recline his all the way (they can actually pin the person behind which probably isn´t the safest but oh well). We slept the whole time to awaken to a city tucked in a valley of the Andes mountains. Medellin has the only metro in Colombia, cheap, clean, and efficient, it puts our public transport in some US cities to shame. One portion of the metro is the metrocable, a cable car that takes you steeply up the slope of the eastern mountain above the poor slums of Medellin to a beautiful parc where you can ride horses, rent bikes, see flora and fauna all over the place, all things we weren't able to do at the time, either too expensive or we had to get back to skype with some fam.

Tuesday, we'll be heading to a small village a hour bus ride from Medellin called Guatape. We found a hostel (Lakeviewhostel.com) where we can volunteer and stay for free. So we're planning on holing up there for a week or so to save some money and practice our spanish while using the mountain bikes and kayaks for free. Can't see this not going good for us.

Spirit Airlines Has No Soul!

It´s Monday, the day before Kara, Jess, and I leave for Colombia, and I´m online at spiritairlines.com to check in for our flight. We booked a one way ticket through cheaptickets.com from LaGuardia, New York to Bogota, Colombia with a connecting flight and 52 minute layover in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. I find that Spirit charges for every bag you check or plan on carrying on and stowing in the overhead bins. The first checked bag for an international flight (bag must be under 40 lbs) is $30 if you check it online before your flight and $40 if you check it at the desk at the airport. So obviously we want to save $10 each and pay for our bags ahead of time. Well, when I push the button to check in, it tells me I can´t check in online and need to see a representative at the desk at the airport. So I decide to call "customer service" (from now on only to be refered to as "donkey´s rectum"). After navigating 20 minutes worth of "press 1 for english, press 4 for technical assistance, press 666 to speak to the devil" I spoke to a donkey´s rectum representative somewhere in India. I explained how I couldn´t check in online and wanted to pay for my bags before getting to the airport to save money and this is where the worst airline experience or my life begins...

Spirit Airlines Donkey´s Rectum Rep: "Yes so you will need to pay the $20 for your checked bag from LaGuardia to Ft. Lauderdale, then $40 for the same bag when you recheck it from FLL to Bogota."

Me: We have a connecting flight. We should only have to pay the $40 international fee at Laguardia and our bags will be transfered to the connecting flight. Are you telling me that you expect us to get off our plane in Florida, leave the gate terminal to baggage claim, wait for our bags, recheck them at the Spirit desk, go back through security and try to make our connecting flight ALL in the 52 minutes between flights IF we have 52 minutes between when we land and when we need to board our second plane??

Spirit Airlines Donkey´s Rectum Rep: Yes. Sir, you have booked two one way tickets, one for Laguardia to Fort Lauderdale and the second for Ft. Laud. to Bogota. You do not have a connecting flight.

Me: No, we do have a connecting flight. I have my cheaptickets.com itinerary here in front of me. It´s a connecting flight. Our bags need to be transfered or we will not make our second flight. I apologize but I´d like to speak to your supervisor.

SADRR: Please hold a moment to speak to my supervisor.

30-40 minutes pass on hold

Spirit Airlines Donkey´s Rep Manager: Hi, Mr Egan, how may I help you.

I ask for his name. Colin Woods, employee number 17726. I explain my situation and politely explain how Spirit has made a mistake and needs to simply change our flights not the flight number, not the time, just make it say connecting so our bags get transfered over. He tells me he cannot help, the best he can do is cancel our flights (we won´t be refunded) and get us a connecting flight from Laguardia to Bogota on October 15th that will cost us $870.90. He says cheaptickets.com booked us two one way tickets instead of one one way with a connection in FLL. He wastes my time for another 10-15 minutes saying there´s nothing he can do so I finally say thanks for nothing and hang up to call cheaptickets customer service.

I call cheaptickets and get ahold of a customer service rep named Titus in the Phillipines within seconds of the phone ringing. I explain everything that just happened with the Spirit Airlines Rep and the first thing he says is "That´s absurd." My point exactly! So I apologize to Titus but tell him I need the highest authority I can speak to with cheaptickets and he passes me on to his manager Tyler. Tyler looks at my itinerary and confirms we have a one way connecting flight to Bogota. He says this has happened before with Spirit and he will call them personally and get the flight fixed. He calls back two hours later and says he used all of his available resources and fixed the problem. And we thought we were past the difficult part.

Tuesday 4 AM: Awake and ready to get to Laguardia. We arrive hour and a half before our flight to check in. The Donkey´s Rectum Agent (Spirit Airlines Agent # 56117) looked at our flight information and asked for proof of return or onward travel from Colombia. We told her we were traveling overland to Ecuador to visit friends of family and showed her the email from the Ecuadorian family we would be visiting. Agent 56117 told us this meant nothing and we either needed a flight or a train or a bus ticket with us then and now to show we would be leaving or she would not let us check in and obtain our boarding passes. That or nothing. Neither Kara, Jess, nor I had our cell phones since we would be out of the country and we had to politely beg a stranger to borrow their phone to call anyone we could to check online if it was possible to buy bus tickets from Bogota to Quito, Ecuador over the internet. I called my father at 5:30AM apologizing profusely but needing him to jump on the computer and look. Nothing would come up, only blogs about the bus ride between the cities. With all hope lost, we were money raped by Spirit Airlines into buying a return ticket to Fort Lauderdale for Nov. 11th (the cheapest ticket we could get) even though we have no intention of using it (Sorry Kara´s fam). The agent said we would not be allowed into Colombia immigrations without this proof.

We race through security and to our gate, no time to fill our water bottles, to make our flight. It´s not until we are on the flight we realize the tickets the incompetent agent booked us to show proof of exiting Colombia, she put Jess´ name on one, and MY NAME on both my ticket and Kara´s! What the fuck? How can this airline be so horrible?! Now we´re worried if we don´t get this fixed in Ft. Lauderdale then immigration in Colombia won´t let Kara in. During the flight I chat with Lars, the flight attendant, who lives out of his truck in Ft. Lauderdale and works to travel. I tell him our horseshit story and he completely agrees it´s BS. Our plane lands late in Florida, we have to race just to catch our connecting flight, no time to speak with a Donkey´s Rectum Rep and no time to fill our water bottles again (I stress the water bottle filling because Spirit Airlines has no complementary drinks on domestic or international. H2O costs $3 a bottle) On the second flight, I walk back towards the bathroom and ask the flight attendant, "So, no complementary water on international flights, huh?" He replies, "Sorry no, I can give you complimentary cups of ice cubes." So there Kara, Jess, and I are trying to get the sunlight through the plane´s window onto our tray tables to melt the ice faster so we can have baby sips of water (We refuse to buy $3 bottles of water on a flight).

We land safely in Bogota, 7,000 ft above sea level with hardly a drop of water all day, to find our checked bags never made it onto our connecting flight. We go through immigration, not a word or question about HOW we are leaving, just asking how long we are staying. SPIRIT AIRLINES IS FULL OF SHIT! So we find the other passengers from Laguardia to Bogota missing their luggage and an extremely nice Colombian man shows us where to go to speak to the Spirit Airlines representatives. We find John, the customer service representative (I write it for him because he deserves it) and he had us fill out the paper to have our bags delivered the next day to the place we´re staying, a posh apartment in northern Bogota with a Juan and Sarah, two people we found on Couchsurfing.org we met who are letting us crash. There is another couch surfer there named Alice from Malaysia who had the exact same problem with Spirit from Ft Lauderdale to Bogota BUT she told them the same thing about traveling overland and they let her go!

So my plan is to write essentially this blog to any newspaper I can find emails for about how incredibly SOULESS Spirit Airlines is. ¿Donde esta mi dinero Spirit??